Les Standiford (via writingquotes)
I mean, there are no “rules” about writing, but I think this is a good example of one of those things that is hard to pull off if you’re not a pretty seasoned writer, and a trap that a lot of young people fall into, in cases where it’d probably be more beneficial to their story if they followed the above advice. Know what I’m sayinnn?
Anonymous asked: You obviously find fat women attractive. Tumblr has opened my eyes to a lot of new social perspectives, like fat acceptance, but despite believing in that message 100%, I can't seem to rid myself of a reflexive cringe of disgust that I KNOW is not natural, but culturally conditioned. I've tried desperately to rid to myself of this, but I haven't succeeded so far. For obvious reasons, I don't want to ask fat women for advice in this personal problem (of MINE, not theirs) even on anon. Advice? :(
I find all beautiful people to be attractive aesthetically (sexually is another matter and beside the point here)…there are plenty of “fat” women I don’t find beautiful, plenty of “thin” people I don’t find beautiful, and plenty of people in any arbitrary category (gender, sex, hair color, ability, race, etc.) whom I find beautiful or non-beautiful.
What I’m wondering is whether you may have wound up in a spot that I did for a while as I was becoming educated in social justice issues; over-policing your aesthetic. Because society tries to say that no women over size 00 are beautiful, you think that to be a good person you must see them all as beautiful. Because society tries to say that no trans* people are beautiful, you think that to be a good person you must see them all as beautiful, etc.
And dude, they aren’t.
No more than all the skinny blonde white blue-eyed cishet women are beautiful. There are ones with bad skin and weird teeth and disproportionate features and poor posture who are as photogenic as a box of dead toads or who for some reason just don’t zizz your joy buzzer. Same way I look at photos of some art/flowers/animals/sunsets/landscapes and go WOW and at others and go meh and my wow may be your meh and the other way around. Trying to force yourself to be like “she’s fat, and that automatically makes her a 10 of wowbeautiful because body acceptance” not only just won’t work because it’s bullshit, it will actually wind up deepening the societal programming because you can’t feed yourself cardboard and call it cake without winding up with a cake aversion eventually.
See, the thing it took me so long to realize was that those movements aren’t about saying that every single person is literally, aesthetically pleasing. Nor are they trying to say that you should be sexually aroused by everyone (that’s called omnisexuality or Harknessism and it’s simply not how most people are wired). That’s just a strawman that gets used to insidiously break them down, even accidentally by the welll-intentioned. The points they are making are threefold:
1. Societal standards that say beauty is ONLY a physically able, pale skinned, white, fair-eyed, fair-haired, extremely young, extremely thin waifish gender-normative feminine cishetfemale are just fucking stupid and hurtful and oppressive and all the fucktastic.
2. Measuring people’s worth by how close they come to item #1 is just fucking horrifying, and so that’s where you get the posts that are trying to reclaim language by presenting someone’s survival as beautiful, their intellect as beautiful, their kindness as beautiful, or otherwise presenting traits that are far more worthy of praise in the language of the thing our society is apt to praise at the highest value.
3. While not all fat/trans*/brown/disabled/etc. people are beautiful, all of those types of people and more CAN be among the beautiful. Not all mammals are kittens, but all kittens are mammals.
It’s that these people have the same right to be deemed sexy/gorgeous/powerful/desirable as the “conventionally” standard-fitting:
(ok, she’s not sexy, but if you don’t think she’s fucking preciousadorablecutiepieoooooooooh you fucking have no soul)
Whether or not you are attracted to all of those people and whether or not you personally see beauty in all of those people, if you deny their right to be deemed beautiful, THAT is when you, my friend, have a big honking problem.